Are you on apps when you can't sleep? Me Too! I am kicking my Cell Phone out of Bed with me!

Like the rest of modern society I too have a level of addiction with technology my phone is glued to me even during a time when I am suppose to be winding down and preparing for bed. At night as I finish brushing my teeth, before I turn the light out I make sure I have my cell phone and my Ipod in the bed with me. For many years at least ten, I have awakened throughout the night, every night around 2am and I've been unable to go back to bed for at least another couple of hours or so. What is weird, sometimes if I have had a really long day and I am extremely tired, I wake up at 2am, use the restroom and fall right back to sleep but if I didn't have a long day I usually can't go back to sleep and I give myself options such as I catch up on my favorite Podcast or I watch YouTube videos on my cell phone until I get sleepy again or I seldom catch up on Instagram Posts. I could do all of these things from just my Ipod luckily enough I blocked YouTube from my Ipod and I can't remember the password for the app on my device. I know I can override that by simply deleting the app or going to my email and resetting the password but I know that it will take a little time so I just don't even bother doing it, besides, I still plan on kicking the YouTube habit so I prefer to keep the block on that device.

My cell phone accompanies my Ipod because it is the only device in which YouTube isn't blocked, so with that being said when I can't sleep I just catch up on some of my favorite video's. However, the initial reason I began placing the phone in the bed with me was so that I could check the time I had awaken and when I fell back to sleep. It allowed me to know how many hours I am unable to sleep and how many hours I was able to sleep. I am almost certain that going for bright devices for hours on end didn't allow my mind to rest and currently does not help with my sleep patterns as well. When I can't go back to sleep, going on YouTube watching video's or listening to audio Podcast on my Ipod fully awakens my mind because this is something that usually is capturing my attention so nothing is screaming relaxation in a place in which I am suppose to be relaxing. All of these post as of late are about me taking back my life swallowed by technology and our subconscious need to be engaged with them all of the time. 

I came up with a solution for the situation, I have decided to go old school and purchase a digital clock. From now own, I will keep my technical devices out of my bed. In order for me to relax my mind and train myself to go back to sleep I will go old school and do what my grandmother use to tell me when I was younger, 'just lay there until you go back to sleep'. I know this sounds harsh but I notice we tend to cater and babysit our every desire in this updated generation. I will not die of boredom because I am laying in the dark waiting on time to fell sleepy again so that my body and mind can rest. I am taking a tough stance with myself. I will not have a meltdown like a toddler at 2am because I am unable to fill that slot with technology, whether its watching YouTube videos, listening to Podcast, strolling through Facebook or Instagram. I have to take my life back, find a balance and engage with these apps during my active hours not my rest and relaxation time of the day. So my cellphone and Ipod are being officially kicked out of my bed and labeled by me as a distraction during my supposed time of rest. If you suffer from broken rest or the inability to sleep throughout the night and you too reach for your gadgets I hope that you too find a way to get your rest back. I am certain that the inability to sleep is less about technology and more about whatever is on your mind but distractions and fillers can easily become habits if we're not mindful.

Was I really on YouTube that Long?

What in the Hell did those YouTube Videos do to me????

     Have you ever had some free time or a free day and you decided that you were just going to chill out and watch only a 'few vidoes' and when you put your head down to view your screen it was daylight and when you looked up and it was dark outside? By this time your battery device is dying, people have been calling and texting interrupting you in the moment(s) in which you are very interested in how the situation in the video turns out. I am so intrigued as to how something so menial can capture and hold our attention without us even really knowing it for such an extended period of time. Of course you absolutely realize that you have been watching videos for a really long time once your battery is about to go out on your streaming device or you glance over at the blinds and the street lights are on. I wonder how a person so conscious of how they spend their time, and with whom they spend their time, get caught up in feeling like an addict after a day of binging on YT video's. It is so unfortunate that there are so many people like myself and the woman in the cartoon caption above get sucked into the recommended video's of YT. What is even more weird is how you physically and mentally feel after watching video's all day and believe you me it is totally different from traditional television. From my own experience watching YouTube videos all day makes me feel like an addict and a sloth. I also feel extremely physically and mentally drained. I can recall each time I binged watched videos I looked and felt like all the life had been drained out of me. I found myself re-energizing after a few days and I would go back for more and do it again, watch videos for hours on end. I was a full blown YT addict. So I found myself interestingly enough deciding to write another book and this time it was not about 'Love, Life and Relationships' which is centered around my new Podcast 'Rebel At Heart'  https://soundcloud.com/rebelatheartpodcast it is going to be discussing how people are losing themselves to an overload of social media, many of them before they can even have a chance to even discover who they really are. I am currently halfway done with the book but I have been one heck of a guinea pig but there is still more work to be done. I am on the hunt and the journey to discover how YT videos have the ability to send you to the sunken place and you have no idea why it's so hard to pull away from any Social Media Platform for long periods of time. Please understand me there is nothing wrong with using social media and YT for that matter but when it comes to being on here all day and you are without reason such as promoting your brand or building an online business your just frivolously strolling, that's an issue! You are robbing yourself of everything you are capable of doing or becoming. Stay tuned as the journey continue, in upcoming post we will discuss why we get so easily sucked into watching videos for hours at a time, how we get sucked in, and how information and ideology overload may really be effecting our emotional and mental state more than we think. I want you to accompany me as I discover why we have unknowingly become so enamored with other people's lives and not our own!

Why Are People Sad?

     This morning when I began my day, I attempted to record a show for my podcast, 'rebelatheart' https://soundcloud.com/rebelatheartpodcast on Soundcloud and as I sat down to record the show in my studio aka 'my closet' and I got about eight minutes into the show and stopped recording, I wasn't feeling it. I then decided to just put my make up on and create a video about it on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/authorklsterling/ and after several failed attempts I came to the conclusion that this topic needed to be written out because while recording the video it dawned on me there are so many different reasons to why people are sad. Though most people who may be reading this blog may not visibly or physically look like the man in the photo above however, there are many people who actually resemble him on the inside but they dress up nice, neat, presentable or even beautifully but are merely frail, weak and broken on the inside. 

     When I began thinking about the various reasons of why people could possibly be sad it lead me down a rabbit trail of thoughts and of course I followed. People could be sad because the death of a loved one, they've never felt loved, lack of support, lack of confidence, their own insecurities, (including but not limited too not feeling like they are good enough), bad relationships, lack of money, life dealt them an unfair hand, underachieving, illnesses, the inability to please people, replaying the past, etc. There could be a host of various reasons of why people are sad. 

     For instance a trigger of sadness for me is my economic situation. Yes I have experienced the loss of loved ones throughout my life, terrible relationships, illnesses and self confidence issues all of which I wrote a book about title, 'I'm Enough' https://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?keyWords=im+enough&type=  (or available wherever books are sold). I will say like many Millienials I too was directed by my high school guidance counselor to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life. I think that was some of the worst advice I received because it lead me to get several degrees all of which are in Arts and not Science, and a loan debt I don't know how I am going to repay. So like many others that is one of a few triggers of sadness for me. My present concern is not for myself but to bring to light that sadness does not have a certain side of town that it targets. Sadness doesn't have a certain demographic. It is easy to look at Social Media or someone who is rich or wealthy and assume that because they have plenty of money, and they may be beautiful or handsome according to Society's standards and assume that their life is perfect. Heartache and brokenness is an emotion that has the potential to afflict us all. I have never seen so much opportunity in one country and so much sadness and depression at the same time. It leads me to ask the question if much of what we are sad about has to do with something that is not often discussed and that age old question, Who are you and What will you contribute while you are here? Your identity and purpose! So many people are overworked, under paid and not obtaining a sense of accomplishment, fulfillment or value throughout life. I wonder how much value or purpose one must feel because we absorb the things the media or society has projected onto us through imagery. For instance, I went to look at a Condo on yesterday and when I went in I immediately didn't connect with the place right away because the kitchen was not updated, the hardwood floors did not run throughout the entire house, and it was too small for what I was looking for overall. If you refer to the statement I mentioned a few sentences ago I could have sworn that I stated I had a ton of debt that I was not sure how I was going to repay but here I am giving this place a bougie side eye on Oscar Meyer Bologna money.....really......where in the world do they have that type of mindset? Good old United States of America. I won't go down the Political, Economical or Educational manipulation people are experiencing here for the sake of staying on topic. I'm tired of being a monetary slave 😞😢😱 I digress. It is unfortunate that sadness is an epidemic and for so many various reasons. I feel that there are more broken people that get up and participate in the daily workforce than we care to share. I guess my entire purpose of this post is to encourage people, despite of sadness just continue going. I realized that I had been dealing with sadness not because of physical homelessness, or lack of other necessities (food or water) that are required to live but because of my economic situation. If you are going to be sad choose not to be sad for superficial reasons. Though my loan debt is something that has caused me great concern and heartache I realize that the mistake is made and life continues forward despite of how I feel. This is true for others who suffer in sadness, life for others and yourself continue despite whether we want to get out of bed every morning or not. Find something that makes you happy. Something that makes me feel a sense of purpose is encouraging others. I found myself talking to a lot of young people about choices, life and college debt. I just enjoy encouraging and uplifting others this is what makes me feel fulfilled, purposeful and happy! I hope you do the same, if you forget about yourself for a few minutes everyday that is a great start to becoming more happy.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!

     Many of us have been here. We have all be experienced being in a state of indecisiveness. However, for some of us, the inability to make decisions are just a way of life, like procrastination is a way of life for some, being late a way of life for others'. I hate to compare indecisiveness to the traits of poor habits but that was the analogy that came to me at the particular time.

     If you have ever had the opportunity to take standardized testing in Western Culture most teachers when preparing their students for test many of them will often encourage their students to go with your first choice. When you mark an answer or choose your answer unless you are absolutely sure do not change that answer because your first choice is often the right choice. So maybe, just maybe could it all be possible to apply this concept with our lives outside the academic setting? Certainly!
I do believe that this concept is very helpful when it comes to certain decisions, but there are some choices that require more time and some would say a deeper level of thought. I have made many decisions based off of the pros and cons system. There are times when I have had more cons than pros and still decided to go for it because that was just the decision I wanted to make at that time. Sometimes it worked out and sometimes it didn't but internally I felt as if I had to take that gamble.

     I am one of those who believe that we usually have the answer but we spend time weighing our options because we are trying to logically come up with a different answer or we spend more time asking other people for their advice about the decisions we should make about our own life! Have you ever been faced with a situation that required you to make a decision, then you make a choice and things do not go right after you made your decision and your immediate response was I should have followed my first mind. It is often said that the spirit or your inner being direct and guides your decision making but we have to yield to it, despite the softness or faintness of its presence.

     I guess what I want you to gain most from this post is to be sure when it comes to decision making it is okay to sit back and think things through but at the same time there are certain things that do not require a lot of thought such as the decision to love yourself, to further yourself whether academically, personally, professionally, spiritually etc. but creating a game plan to build yourself will take as much action or effort as it will figuring out the means in which to get you to the place in which you are trying to reach. Also, with decision making don't be afraid to make choices and know that sometimes not making a decision or decisions is just as bad as not making a decision at all. We are not perfect beings so we will not make the right choice, each and every time so do not beat yourself up if in fact you make a decision that doesn't have a pleasant ending to that choice. There is more to be learned from mistakes and the lessons that it teaches than making the right choices at times and that's the very thing that is not elaborated on enough in our current society. However,  we do not have to learn from only our mistakes and choices we can learn from that of others' which can help aide us in learning to be better decision makers, which in turn can teach you how to be a wise decision maker.

Smart Phones and the Power you hold in your hand!

If you are active and living on the grid you probably own a smart phone. Smart phones are literally a mini computer or a portable computer on the go. If you were to go to a public place, event or better yet a college campus the majority of people would probably be looking down giving their full attention to their phone, so it would appear. Cell phones have amazing features and are an overall great gadget however, I am writing this blog post with not complete bias but experience of social interaction with people face to face rather than through the means of technology. I was so blessed not fortunate to grow up during a time in which the way you met friends, boyfriends/girlfriends and created a social life was through real life human interaction. This is not a dis to cell phones nor technology but since the arrival of smart phones, cool apps and the growing dependence on internet technology it is crippling human beings socially. For a growing population having a full conversation outside of Social Media Platforms and Text messages have become a job that requires a lot of effort. I can talk about this subject matter and be frank about it because I am guilty. I found myself not wanting too talk. I found myself having more of a desire to text and when I noticed it I immediately started to pull away from texting as frequently. I forced myself to talk even if it were only for a few minutes because I did not want to become that person who hid behind their text messages. I recall some years ago, a person who I considered my best friend texted me and throughout the months I noticed the individual would text me random conversations and I recall the topic in which we were discussing was so serious I didn't want to continue this conversation via text. I decided to call this individual and my phone call wasn't answered. I called again and this person did not answer the phone. I then texted my friend and said we were just texting and I called you but you didn't answer the phone then this person text me back the NEXT DAY and stated that they prefer not to talk but to text. I was shocked but I was like okay no problem. Later down the line, a few months later the exact same thing happened, I received a random text message from this individual and this person is telling me the story of their life and out of concern I called and my call was not answered then I called back the call was sent to voicemail. I did what most people do when they become offended that their call was rejected I sent a text. I said I was only calling out of concern for you didn't want anything extra. First of all, I completely blame myself because this individual had already let me know that their preferred way to communicate was not talking but through texting. It was then that I knew that we had two totally different outlooks on smartphones, socialization and communication. This doesn't make this individual a bad person or me an aggressive person it simply meant that we had formulated separate views on how we would use smartphones, apps and technology as it related to real life communication between friends not someone who simply followed you on social media. It was weird to see my "friend" post every thread and moment of their life on social media but couldn't have a decent 30 minute telephone conversation. It was so intriguing to see this person put a sugar coated truth on a social media post but the real truth in a text. I was floored because for me there were just certain things I did not want to put out their on the internet for all the world to see. With smartphones, technology and cool apps I have seen no end to the amount of information people are willing to put out about themselves for attention, or because they are lonely or don't have a REAL SOCIAL LIFE outside of apps and the internet. I will be doing more post about this as my BRAND NEW BOOK will be released some time this year and it is all about TECHNOLOGY and the POWER OF THE INTERNET and how it is affecting designed human social interactions.